Teacher: History is a very interesting
subject. It tells you about what had
happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don’t
think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
…………………………………………………………
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10
and you ask him for $6, how much
would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don’t know maths.
Ted: You don’t know my father!
……………………………………………………………
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me.
Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report
book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to
Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding
you now.
……………………………………………………………
Father: Why did you fail your
mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And
on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can’t make up her mind, how do
I know the right answer?
…………………………………………………………….
A mother and son were doing dishes
while the father and daughter were
Watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of
breaking
plates,
Then complete silence. The daughter
turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It’s mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn’t say anything.
……………………………………………………………
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
—————————————
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I
was born
—————————————
Waiter: I’ve stewed liver, boiled
tongue and frog’s leg.
Customer: Don’t tell me your problems.
Give me the menu card.
—————————————
Teacher: Simon, your composition
on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as
your brother’s. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it’s the same
dog!
—————————————
Father: Your teacher says she finds it
impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!
—————————————
Teacher: ‘Where were u born?’
Student: ‘ Singapore , Sir.’
Teacher: ‘Which part?’
Student: ‘All of me, Sir.’
—————————————
A teacher was asking her class: ‘What
is the difference between ‘unlawful’
And ‘illegal’?’ Only one hand shot up.
‘Ok, answer, Joan’ said the teacher.
”unlawful’ is when u do something the
law doesn’t allow and ‘illegal’ is A
sick eagle.’
—————————————
Teacher: ‘How come you do not comb
your hair?’
Ah Kow: ‘No comb, Sir.’
Teacher: ‘Use your dad’s then.’
Ah Kow: ‘No hair, Sir.’
—————————————
A boy came home from school with his
exam results.
‘What did u get?’ asked his father.
‘My marks are under water,’ said the
boy.
‘What do u mean ‘under water’?’
‘They are all below ‘C’ level’ (sea
level)
