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Archive for April, 2008

Funny stuff

When Dr. Mahathir was Prime Minister of Malaysia
One lousy day in the middle of the economic crisis, PM Mahathir was
feeling extremely frustrated and wondering how a neighboring country
can be doing better than Malaysia.
One of his aides said, I heard that the leaders consult Feng Shui
masters to ensure prosperity for the country.
Dr Mahathir thought if that was the case, Malaysia Bomoh also can, and
went to seek the top bomoh’s advice in the country.
After reviewing the case, the bomoh told Dr M that there were 2 things
that he must do :
Bomoh : Step 1. You must blame the crisis on SOROS for everything.

Dr M : But Why ?
Bomoh: Because SOROS stands for  ‘Speculate On Ringgit Or Stocks’.
You must blame him, and look at ways to control the ringgit and stock market.

Bomoh : Step 2 – You must get rid of ANWAR.
Dr M: What! why him ?
Bomoh: Because ANWAR stands for ‘A Nation Without Any Ringgit’.
Dr M: But how ?
This is most difficult to do, he is popular with the people.

Bomoh : Aiyoh, you bodoh lah!
Look at your name, MAHATHIR.
Make  Anwar  Homosexual  And  Then  Highlight  It  Repeatedly.

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The BEST Christian testimony website http://www.precious-testimonies.com

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History Mystery of US

History Mystery

Have a history teacher explain this—– if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln ‘s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who ass assinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named ‘Ford.’
Kennedy was shot in a car called ‘ Lincoln ‘ made by ‘Ford.’

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials .

And here’s the kicker…

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh? Send this to as many people as you can, cause:
Hey, this is one history lesson most people probably will not mind reading!


WHO FIGURED THIS OUT?

INCREDIBLE
1) Fold a
NEW PINK$20 bill in half…

2) Fold again, taking care to fold it exactly as below

3) Fold the other end, exactly as before

4) Now, simply turn it over…

What a coincidence! A simple geometric fold creates a catastrophic premonition printed on all $20 bills!!!
COINCIDENCE? YOU DECIDE

As if that wasn’t enough. Here is what you’ve seen…

Firstly The Pentagon on fire…

Then The  Twin Towers.


..And now .. look at this!

TRIPLE COINCIDENCE ON A SIMPLE $20 BILL
It gets even better!! 9 + 11=$20!!

This is too interesting to pass up!

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Laugh and enjoy

Teacher: History is a very interesting
subject. It tells you about what had
happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don’t
think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
…………………………………………………………

Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10
and you ask him for $6, how much
would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don’t know maths.
Ted: You don’t know my father!
……………………………………………………………

Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me.
Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report
book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to
Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding
you now.
……………………………………………………………

Father: Why did you fail your
mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And
on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can’t make up her mind, how do
I know the right answer?
…………………………………………………………….

A mother and son were doing dishes
while the father and daughter were
Watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of
breaking
plates,
Then complete silence. The daughter
turned to look at her father.

Daughter: It’s mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn’t say anything.
……………………………………………………………

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

—————————————

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I
was born

—————————————

Waiter: I’ve stewed liver, boiled
tongue and frog’s leg.
Customer: Don’t tell me your problems.
Give me the menu card.

—————————————

Teacher: Simon, your composition
on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as
your brother’s. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it’s the same
dog!

—————————————

Father: Your teacher says she finds it
impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!

—————————————

Teacher: ‘Where were u born?’
Student: ‘ Singapore , Sir.’
Teacher: ‘Which part?’
Student: ‘All of me, Sir.’
—————————————

A teacher was asking her class: ‘What
is the difference between ‘unlawful’
And ‘illegal’?’ Only one hand shot up.
‘Ok, answer, Joan’ said the teacher.
”unlawful’ is when u do something the
law doesn’t allow and ‘illegal’ is A
sick eagle.’

—————————————

Teacher: ‘How come you do not comb
your hair?’
Ah Kow: ‘No comb, Sir.’
Teacher: ‘Use your dad’s then.’
Ah Kow: ‘No hair, Sir.’

—————————————

A boy came home from school with his
exam results.
‘What did u get?’ asked his father.
‘My marks are under water,’ said the
boy.
‘What do u mean ‘under water’?’
‘They are all below ‘C’ level’ (sea
level)

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Miracle in Egypt

Please make time and read this startling story. It’s real.
Our God reigns in deed and in truth.
A Muslim man in Egypt killed his wife because she was reading the
Bible and then buried her with their infant baby and 8-year old
daughter. The girls were buried alive! He then reported to the police
that an uncle killed the kids. 15 days later, another family member
died. When they went to bury him, they found the 2 little girls under
the sand – ALIVE !
The country is outraged over the incident, and the man will be
executed. The older girl was asked how she had survived. ‘A man
wearing shiny white clothes, with bleeding wounds in his hands, came
every day to feed us. He woke up my mom so she could nurse my sister,’
she said. She was interviewed on Egyptian national TV, by availed
Muslim woman news anchor. She said on public TV, ‘This was none other
than Jesus, because nobody else does things like this!’
Muslims believe Isa (Jesus) would do this, but the wounds mean He
really was crucified, and it’s clear also that He is alive! But, it’s
also clear that the child could not make up a story like this, and
there is no way these children could have survived without a true
miracle.
Muslim leaders are going to have a hard time to figure out what to do
with this, and the popularity of the Passion movie doesn’t help! With
Egypt at the centre of the media and education in the Middle East ,
you can be sure this story will spread.
Jesus Christ is still turning the world upside down! Please let this
story be shared. The Lord says, ‘I will bless the person who puts his
trust in me. ‘Jeremiah 17

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She is my friend’s sister…

Amazing…She is just 13 years old…very talented

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